A very good morning to all my readers,
I would like to take the time to elaborate on the following questions:
So far what have you ‘stood for and against’ this year?
Have you decided in advance what you will tolerate and what you will fight against?
Are you ready to challenge the impossible and stretch yourself out of your comfort zone?
Personally, I have been reflecting on these questions over the last few of months. During this time I realised that something had been bothering me and further was stopping me from giving my best to others. It was preventing me from producing the results I expected. Pondering on it, I realised the source of the problem was with a person in my life. I decided to face the issue head on.
What action did you think I had taken? Most of you already know me by now and most probably have guessed correctly. If not this quote will help “I am strong, I welcome new challenges and fair competition. Believe in me. I can do anything.” I proposed a challenge to this person and it took all the courage I had to do this! The person who I am referring to was one of my six coaches, someone who I held very close to me (out of respect I will not reveal their name).
The challenge to say the least was extremely demanding and given the vast differences in experience proposing it at this time made it even more of a mammoth. Just to give you an idea of what I am talking about, it would be like challenging a dancer to dance when you physically cannot move a step… To make matters worse, I did not prepare for it. I knew that I was going to lose even before I started. I also wanted to be as natural as possible and leave my subconscious mind to feel all the emotions of the moment as it would allow me to resonate with the quote below:
“What mess us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.”
What were the reasons of taking this action?
Now you may wonder why I proposed such a challenge for myself and why I did it. Firstly, I was going to test my mindset. What do I mean by this? As you may know from previous experiences, if you are going to lose a challenge, fight, opportunity, etc. you do not commit to it, and consequently will not approach it with the right mindset.
I strongly believe in this quote: “I may not be the strongest, I may not be the fastest…but I’ll be damned if I’m not trying my HARDEST“.
Therefore I was ready to test my mental metal and confidence in asking something very unusual on my part. As being a coach myself, I learnt that the best way to test skills and abilities in others is to challenge them outside of their comfort zone. In fact the challenge was out of our ‘usual’ coaching environment; I needed to find out where I was in one of my life’s journeys, so that I would know how to move forward. I also wanted to test my coach’s ability to stretch me out of my comfort zone and to really and truly see to what extend he will go into listening to my testing requests. Moreover what will he say and do regarding them…allowing me to practically find out my coach’s reactions…
Maybe you think I dare too much. In life sometimes you need to feel the fear and do it to stretch yourself, to feel uncomfortable, to grow and above all you need to ensure that you are always surrounded by A players; positive and inspiring people who you unconditionally assist and receive assistance from to move forward in your journey… Yes, I dare a lot! This time I could end up losing my coach. Honestly it would have been very emotional as we worked together for over a year but it was time to face the issue.
What did I learn from my coach?
This specific coach taught me that when you make the decision in life to achieve your goals, emotions are not to be involved. This is certainly not an easy move to make, although this line of thought is certainly advantageous (in case you read this, leave your big EGO at home).
What was the result?
By now I must have enhanced your appetite on the result of my challenge… however I’ll keep this to myself and leave you in suspense for a little longer (to be honest it is too personal and as of yet I have not fully processed and reflected on the experience)…The only thing I will release at this time is one important life lesson I feel you might benefit from. This is that even though I was physically defeated and I still feel the pain of the hits (don’t think that I was beaten up – it was a sport competition) I knew that I needed to see the bigger picture, to work on my mindset and to recognise the corporeal pain will go away in due times. So have vision, you may feel the pain, mental or physical for just minutes, days or weeks but the long term reward will be worth it, many times over. This is another quote I resonate with: “It’s a long and frustrating road, you will cry and fight and abandon and rekindle your will time and time again but in the end it will all be worth it.”
What were the benefits of my actions?
At the beginning I mentioned that I did not prepare for the challenge. Before I go on I need to rectify my statement, I did not prepare physically but I did mentally and emotionally. I used an NLP technique called Future pacing or Future History (Muhammed Ali is famous for it). It can be used to “embed” change in the context of the future. It gives a person the experience of dealing positively with a situation before they get into that situation in reality. This is based on visualization where the mind is assumed not to be able to tell the difference between the scenario which is real and one which has been clearly visualized. The theory behind it is that, having visualized positively, when the subject encounters the situation again in reality the visualized experience will serve as a model for how to behave, even though this experience was imagined.
Guess what? It worked, all my negative feelings and frustrations disappeared during the challenge and I benefited from it even though I did lose it. More importantly I did not feel a loser and I actually enjoyed and learnt a lot from the experience …
It is amazing to see what you can learn when you know the techniques to use, even in a negative situation. You can become a winner, even when you’re actually losing a challenge, match, opportunity, etc – so even though I still feel the pain of the bruises it was a win win situation (yes I know it sounds outrageous!).
I hope you noticed that I have written in bold and highlighted the questions you need to ask yourself to find out if you are ready to challenge the impossible and stretch yourself out of your comfort zone. Please please ensure that you are honest with yourself, that you want to achieve personal growth and become a better you…don’t be scared of losing out in a situation, challenge, match, etc or even losing an important person in your life. Remember that people often serve some sort of purpose in our lives’, whether this is to teach us a lesson, or to help us figure out who we are or who we want to become. When they finish their purpose sometimes the best cure is to let them go. If they ever come back in our lives’, than our relationships will be stronger and offer some benefit towards achieving our goals or life purposes…now that you have read this please write your answers to the questions I have reflected on and take ACTION accordingly!!!!
I hope my experience has helped you think about what you are tolerating and what you are fighting for in your own life…To be honest, it has been quite emotional to relive my daring challenge and experience…just remember if I dare to challenge the impossible for the purpose of obtaining personal growth, then you CAN too!!!! Because there’s one thing I know for sure. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll never be an achiever.
To your personal growth and successes!!!