A warm greetings to all my readers,
I hope you have been enjoying great success in improving your confidence from the techniques I have discussed in last week’s article, “Becoming Unstoppable.”
As promised, today I will finish off with three more techniques that will add some extra wallop to your journey. Enjoy!
“One important key to success is confidence. An important key to confidence is preparation.” ~ Arthur Ashe
“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
Have you ever experienced the situation where you are undertaking something new and noticed how you very quickly get lost in thoughts and actions? You start building ‘if’ scenarios in your mind of what may happen.
Definitely, preparing and educating ourselves can be a big help in making a huge difference in our confidence levels but we need to take the time to prepare ourselves. Obviously, this is more work than not doing anything about it. For example by rehearsing and rewriting our speech over and over we can learn it by heart. By doing research we can find breathing techniques that can quickly make us calmer and more confident as we deliver our speech.
Preparation is the key to feeling more comfortable and confident. Just don’t make the mistake of getting stuck in the preparation phase and using it as a way to avoid taking action and the possible pain that it may lead to.
4. Take action.
“Nothing builds self-esteem and confidence like accomplishment.” ~ Thomas Carlyle
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” ~ Dale Carnegie
We need to take action which is the most important step in building our confidence levels. Good ideas and good intentions without implementation are useless! We need to work on something and get it done. Sitting at home and thinking about it will just make us feel worse. Simple but not always easy to do! I will agree with you but there are ways to make it easier to take actions:
- You really really want it! Our Why is so BIG that taking action becomes second nature, we can’t wait to do it!
- Be present! It will help us to go and do whatever we need to get done without over analysing it. It puts us in a state where we feel little emotional resistance to the work we’ll do. Additionally the right actions often just seem to flow out of us in a focused but relaxed way without much effort. One of the simplest ways to connect with the present moment is just to keep our focus on our breathing for a minute or two.
5. Realise that failure or being wrong will not harm you.
“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” ~ Peter T. Mcintyre
“I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn’t fall down.” ~ Allen H. Neuharth
The message is clear: we have to face your fear. Failure won’t harm or kill anybody. Nor will being wrong. The sky will not fall down on us. That’s just what people that haven’t faced their fear yet think.
The secret is to reframe failure from being something that makes your legs shake to something useful and important for the growth of our confidence and our overall growth as a human being.
Here are four ways that failure can help us out:
- We gain access to experiences we could not get any other way.Ideally, we prefer to learn from other people’s mistakes and failures. That’s not always the easy way. Sometimes we just have to fail on our own to learn a lesson and to gain an experience no one can relate to us in mere words.
- We become stronger. ‘What does not kill us, makes us stronger!’ Every time we fail we become more accustomed to it. We realise more and more that it’s not the end of the world. We get desensitised. We can handle things that would have been very hard to deal with a few years back. Failing can also a have an exhilarating component because even though we failed we at least took a chance. We didn’t just sit on our hands doing nothing. This certainly would take quite a bit of courage and determination.
- You learn. Instead of seeing failure with a negative connotation, we can view it more as a learning experience. When standing in the middle of a failure, we can ask ourselves questions like: What’s positive about this situation? What can I learn from this situation? How can I get the best out of this situation?
- Your chances of succeeding increases. Every time we fail, we can learn and increase our inner strength. So every failure can make us more and more likely to succeed.
As I mentioned in last week’s article, the world doesn’t revolve around you. While we might like to think so, the reality is different. People really don’t care that much about what we do. Everyone has their own life, problems and worries. They don’t think that much about us or are constantly monitoring what we do wrong or when we fail. Maybe you might be disappointed about this discovery but it should be a liberating thought. Now we have the license to make mistakes and we can let go of that worry that everyone is watching us.
Without a shadow of a doubt, it takes courage and determination to move forward in our life to achieve our goals/plans. To do so we need to acquire the confidence necessary to make our path as smooth as possible! So welcome any mistakes from now on and more importantly learn the lessons that come with them to boost your confidence levels!
I hope you find something useful in this article to help you improve and maintain your own levels of confidence.
To your ultimate success,