A very good morning to all my readers,
I want to open my article with a big THANK you to all of you and for your wonderful feedback, emails and texts received over the past months. They were really encouraging and I felt uplifted, thank you from the bottom of my heart! Also a big THANKS for reading my bro’s blog, it made a really great surprise for his special day!
As you can recognise from the title, it is time again for reflection!
How are you doing with achieving your goals set last January? Are you on track, behind or ahead?
It’s good sometimes to do a revision exercise to analyse where we are in life, where we want to be and what steps will take us there! It’s important to ensure that we obtain what we really want in life and don’t settle for less!!! Maybe for some of you, it’s action time! It’s definitely for me, I have realised that this year has been a very different one from my previous ones! I can describe it with only one word: WAITING! A quote that summaries this concept well is this one: ‘We only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have and the decisions we waited too long to make’. That is so true! Every goal that I have not yet achieved this year has only one common denominator: I was waiting for someone (sadly it was the same person all the time) or for the perfect occasion (again the same person was involved)! To be honest, I am quite annoyed with myself! Now that I am aware of what has slowed me down from achieving my goals I can overcome it!
I will share with you what I have personally learnt in the last four months. Please feel free to comment and to share your own lessons too!
Before I start, please take your time to answer the questions below, don’t rush and above all be honest with yourself if you want to achieve personal growth and become a better you! This is one of the most important times you can dedicate to achieving your goals and ultimately your life successes! Once you have discovered your lessons, please feel free to compare them with mine…let me know how many we have in common, I would love to share your journey…
Ready to answer these questions?
What have you learned from your past months?
What lessons did you gather?
How did you benefit from them?
What could you have changed to improve your performance and results?
What three actions can you take to get nearer to your goal and be successful?
Now that you have gathered your lessons, please read what I have learned…Don’t forget to compare it and let me know how many we have in common…
Here are my learning pointers for the past months:
– Stay focused: we live in a world where we are bombarded by information, knowledge, adverts, etc and as far as all these are useful advantages to our life in the long run, if left unchecked, they become a distraction. As an example I was coaching someone a few weeks ago and we were working on time management (this is recently becoming a regular topic in my coaching sessions). When I asked what was using the majority of the client’s time, the response was surfing the internet. You research one topic and suddenly you start surfing ten other ones connected to it! Clearly this demonstrates that we need to focus on our goals to achieve them. There are so many things that can easily distract us especially if we have short attention spans!
A great way to visualise focus is to think of horse blinkers. The flaps that prevent the horse from looking anywhere but straight ahead. It’s important we learn to use our own blinkers to keep us focused on a day to day basis, and I’m not talking literally!
What takes most of your time during the day or week?
What are your eye blinkers to keep you focused?
What actions can you take to help you stay focused on your goals?
The honest answers to the questions above, will speed up your progress in achieving your goals and your successes!
– Unwavering Clarity & Self-Awareness: the more I self-reflect the more I realise how much I owe my success primary to my clarity in what I wanted to do in my life. Since the age of 6 I have had a vision and dreams of where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. It is so amazing to see them all come to reality. This was all the result of focus and determination to keep going even when others were obstructing me. I believe the most difficult lesson was to be disciplined, you see I always go for what people dared not to do. Every time someone tells me “this task will be very difficult to master,” these are the magic words to make me want to take it on! Yes, challenges are what make me accomplish my goals and plans!
What is your activator bar?
What makes you act no matter how big the goal is?
This is one of your strengths, if you have self-awareness of who you are, you can use it to your advantage. For example when you do not feel motivated to do something, you can change your mind-set and perceive things in a way that will encourage you to take action. This is a very powerful tool and technique to know!
How can you acquire more clarity and self-awareness?
What are your values and beliefs?
What are your strengths and weaknesses?
What are the reasons of making your choices and decisions in your life?
Are you making a conscious decision or an unconscious reaction?
The honest answers to the above questions will provide you with a better understanding of who you are and what you want from your life. Consequently you will take action accordingly to achieve your goals and your success! Just remember that your happiness and success in life comes from clarity as to who you are. As you become more aware of yourself and feel more comfortable in your own skin, other people will be drawn to you and bring you greater opportunity!
For more details, see my previous articles on Ready to find your light bulb, Ready for your SWOT analysis and The 3’C’s in Succcess! Here are the links:
Ready To Find Your Light Bulb moment?
Ready For Your Swot Analysis?
The 3 ‘C’s in Succcess,
– Confidence: you need to have a certain degree of confidence to achieve your goals and become successful. Without it you will find it difficult to take action and move forward. To back up this point, I have coached numerous people and believe me the common denominator of not taking action was lack of confidence. Is it true that if you don’t believe in someone and/or in a strategy as human beings we won’t take any action? Think about your everyday life i.e. where do you buy your clothes? your shoes? where do you take your things for repair? who do you choose to make business with? Is it not someone who you really trust and have proven worthy of our confidence? I am sure you agree with me!
What does it mean to be a confident person?
What does having a lack of confidence cost you on a daily basis?
How can we increase our level of confidence firstly in ourselves and in others?
What actions can you take to boost your confidence?
To understand the importance of having confidence, I came across this inspiring quote:
“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.” ~ Stan Smith
Even if we’re reasonably assured most of the time, it is beneficial to do a little mental strengthening check up every now and then. It feels good to be confident, which in turn perpetuates further confidence, impresses people and brings you success.
In my previous articles, I have shared 5 ways to increase your confidence which are: Get to know who we are and what we want out of life, face our fears, prepare, take action and realise that failure or being wrong would not harm you. For more details, please read my articles On Becoming Unstoppable & Becoming Unstoppable Part 2! Here are the two links:
Becoming Unstoppable Part 2
– Consistent preparation and developing a Positive Mind-set: “One important key to success is confidence. An important key to confidence is preparation.” ~ Arthur Ashe “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
Have you ever experienced the situation where you are undertaking something new and noticed how you very quickly get lost in thoughts and actions?
You start building ‘what if’ scenarios in your mind of what may happen.
Definitely, preparing and educating ourselves can be a big help in making a huge difference in our confidence levels but we need to take the time to prepare ourselves. Obviously, this is more work than not doing anything about it. For example by rehearsing and rewriting our speech over and over again, we can learn it by heart. By doing research we can find breathing techniques that can quickly make us calmer and more confident as we deliver our speech.
Preparation is the key to feeling more comfortable and confident. Just don’t make the mistake of getting stuck in the preparation phase and using it as a way to avoid taking action and the possible pain that it may lead to. As for me, I knew that if I wanted to be successful I needed to be prepared for any eventuality, ensuring that I didn’t miss out on any opportunities! This is the hardest skill to work on as we often prepare based on previous knowledge of people, situations, events, etc. but sometimes there is the surprise effect – something unexpected comes up and we ask ourselves questions such as: What do I do now? What do I say?
How can you prepare for it?
What is the best behaviour in surprise effect situations?
What provides you with the best edge?
Not an easy scenario to face is it? Sometimes, because we are not prepared for unexpected situations, we miss out on big opportunity in life! In order to have an edge we need to ensure that we prepare for the predictable and do our best when things get impulsive. Our confidence will grow overtime and we will learn to keep it cool even when we don’t know who we may meet or what might happen next.
Regarding having a positive mind-set that is a must! I have a very strong passion for mind-set and psychology, and so both are subjects I often like to talk about. I am a strong believer that your mind-set counts for more than 90%, if not 100% of life’s successes, in any field. If you don’t have the right state of mind and positivity, even a success could turn into a failure. I am sure that you know what I am talking about, as all of us have experienced it. We believe what we tell ourselves and it will make a huge difference when we focus on having a positive mind-set! We end up seeing opportunities where others see difficulties!
When faced with a challenging situation ask yourself the following questions to ensure you have a positive mind-set:
How can I benefit from this event, circumstance or occasion?
How can I use this event to my advantage?
What did I learn from it that will assist me for the better?
– Exercise and healthy lifestyle: I learned this lesson at the expense of my own health. I have to admit that I have to thank my dear bro as he is an avid fan of the gym! So I could not stand the fact that he is so fit and healthy and I was not. Out of a challenge with myself, I decided that if he could be, I could be too. Without any hesitation knowing that with hard work, determination, disciplined and persistence, I would be able to achieve my fitness goal, to be fit and toned! I felt like I went through an education program on how, what and when to eat, how to exercise, what muscles to exercise, what type of exercise to follow based on different needs, etc. I have to admit that I felt so ignorant when I first started and I often asked myself the reason why people do not know all this information. It was then that I realised how all this information can end up being contradictory, there is literally so many different opinions on the subject! I consider myself quite fortunate to have surrounded myself with qualified fitness individuals/coaches that were willing to share their information with me and above all help me understand what type of nutrition and exercises were the most effective for my objective. A big thank you to all of you and above all to my bro who got me started! (just to say that he has a degree in Science)…I felt like Tommy was my dad when he was patiently and lovingly providing me with the answers to my questions and the tips on how to improve my performance! Thank you, much appreciated, Bro!
So I learnt how important it is to exercise, eat healthy and sleep enough to be at the peak of your performance! Your body will appreciate it if you only listened to it!!! For more details, see my articles on fitness: How much can you tell from appearance? 10 ways to keep your motivation to exercise, and Viv’s hot proven tips to keep your motivation fool-proof! Part 1 and Part 2. Here are the links:
Fitness: How Much Can You Tell From Appearance?
Fitness 10 Ways to Keep Your Motivation to Exercise?
Fitness Vivs 8 Hot Proven Tips to Keep Your Motivation Foolproof Part 1
Fitness Vivs 8 Hot Proven Tips to Keep Your Motivation Foolproof Part 2
– Skills of leverage & delegation: Another important lesson was when I learnt the true meaning of the words delegation and leverage! What a relief it was! Even until now, I can’t believe how much I could have accomplished if I had learnt to delegate and leverage earlier in my life. This is particularly true when I was working in the corporate world! Later is better than never as some say! What stopped me was something called perfectionism, some of you may have experienced it! Only when you realise that perfection is relative and not absolute, will you start to delegate others. Obviously if your standards are high, at the beginning everything will appear less than adequate to you. However, I can guarantee that one day, someone will impress you with their job and you will start to delegate more and more. You will understand how much time, resources and efforts you will save!
A very recent lesson that I learnt is regarding networking! Let’s just say that it is not my cup of tea! Most people that know me may be surprised to read this, as I am always at events, smiling and engaging everyone I meet! The lesson that I learnt was that people usually go to networking events to find potential clients for their business by collecting as many contacts as possible, I do not! I usually leave with a maximum of two or three business cards of people that I have spent most of the time talking to! So when we contact each other we will already have good memory of who the other person is and what we spoke about. This way we have a lower chance of mixing people up and ending up getting embarrassed. You know what I am talking about, don’t you? I believe that quality is more important than quantity! Another reason is that I do not look for clients during the events but I look for potential joint ventures instead. This works to help leverage each other strengths, time and resources! It also helps you gain some support and guidance from influent people during your journey. Clever idea, isn’t it?
See my article on 5 Steps to Effective Delegation for more details. Here is the link:
5 Steps to Effective Delegation
– Surround yourself with a positive circle of influence and role models to learn from: here comes the beautiful concept of modelling. This is an NLP concept that is vastly well known. You need to learn from others who have walked the path before you, it is called ‘standing on the shoulders of giants’. Modelling is highly valued and it makes sense to copy someone who has already achieved what we want to accomplish as I did with my dear Bro! This allows us to achieve our success in the fastest and most efficient way possible.
Who are the people who have already achieved this result in the past?
How can you model them to the best of your abilities?
How can you establish a relationship with your role models?
How can you add value to them?
To have role models will add a new dimension to your life, you will see faster results with the minimum use of your resources as you learn to work in the smartest way possible! I can definitely guarantee this! Obviously to keep the momentum going, you need to surround yourself with a positive circle of influence such as like minded individuals who share the same goals and aspirations as you do. This means that when you are facing tough challenges, they will be there to raise your spirits and encourage you to keep going.
For more details see my articles on Circle of Influence: ‘What does it tell you about yourself’ & ‘How does it affect your life’. Here are the links:
Your Circle of Influence What Does it Tell You About Yourself?
Your Circle of Influence How Does it Affect Your Life?
Above are my main lessons that I have learnt in the past months. To be honest, when I sat down to write this article, I could not think of anything of value I could give to you. For some reason which I am still not sure about, I did not want to look back into my past (that’s very unusual of me as through analysing your past experiences you learn the lessons of your life). Until I read one of my bro’s mate’s article titled ‘What does Rocky and a Trader have in common? A real rags to riches story…’ as you can guess, he is a financial market trader. It really inspired me, all my learning lessons flew into my mind and I could not stop to write them…Most probably because the article highlighted the life experience of Rocky who inspired me since I was a child – maybe now it’s clearer where I get all my determination from. I invite you to read his inspiring article in full here: What Does Rocky and a Trader Have in Common?.
So, have you compared your learning lessons with mine? How many do we have in common?
Please let me know as I would love to share yours and learn from them. It will be very interesting and amazing to see your different perspectives of life!
Have you noticed again what is the acronym of my learning lessons? Let me know if you do!
After self-reflecting I hope you can see to get the best out of every event, circumstance, emotions, etc. which occur in our lives, we need to approach them with a positive mind-set. We need to ask ourselves the magical and powerful question:
What have I learned from my experiences?
Remember to take notes and put them into practice as every third of the year, I will write my own ones and you will have them ready to compare them with mine. Perhaps more importantly this will give more meaning to your experiences and to live your life to the full! As always, this is the beauty of life, it leaves something to learn from to enhance and enrich our future! “We come this way but once. We can either tiptoe through life and hope that we get to death without being too badly bruised or we can live a full, complete life achieving our goals and realising our wildest dreams.’ – Bob Proctor
To your learning lessons which lead to your success!